Eulogy of Babble Talkman

I have always been inspired by the mass media. But many times, this has also prompted extreme reactions. I am quite sure I am not the only one to be influenced so.

This is a fictional piece of musing that has nothing to do with any particular person.
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Eulogy of Babble Talkman
(Feb 15, 2006)

“Relatives, friends, foes and undecideds:

We lost Babble Talkman a few days ago and yet, it feels like it was only seconds before he last shouted ‘Whatta shot!’ Truly, time flies.

It feels like only yesterday when Babble had come to the TV station for a screen test for becoming yet another anchor on the *MKM!# (Myuzeec Kills Me) channel. His chatter was the bread for all those nasty portals, though I’m sure there were many takers. Being a school drop out, he had a commendable command over his wardrobe. From patch work denim, he moved to trouser strips. Fashionistas still remember his dress sense during his afternoon show – “*MKM!# - Don’t yaw siesta”. Something that will never be forgotten by anyone who watched *MKM!# was the classic boat necked trouser shirt with hieroglyphics on pyramids. It is another thing that the Egyptian mumbo-jumbo he wore had put poor Babble in prison for two nights for defaming the pyramid country.

But as they say, all happens for the good. On Friendship Day, he met the knockout wrestler turned actor ‘The Crab’. It was as if they were destined to meet on that day. I remember Babble telling me that after a good chat, The Crab promised him a post in his action choreography production company. Once on to hosting big matches, Babble carved a niche for himself in the country. The numbers stand evidence that he was not for the masses but classes.

During one of his matches he was introduced to the very beautiful Screechy Candy, whom he married after the two hour match! This showed his decisiveness. Another proof was his divorce from Candy after 2 days. Babble showed amazing hold over himself while he addressed the press too. Managing stars loved by many women can get tedious. But Babble handled it all, mostly by his knack of keeping the conversation going and going till the other person tired out. Very few people have this ability and Babble’s skillful talking was soon noticed by the coach of the Football League. He was appointed as the commentator in the Premier Kickon League.

Babble had certain beliefs that were built during his lifetime some of them challenging enough for others to fathom. There were allegations that Babble Talkman had gotten into drugs, which was unkind of anybody to say so. I hope God gave them a broader mind to understand that Babble was not a sportsman and so, was not cheating anyone! He found a great mate in ace footballer Mar-juan Cocclain to help him recover from depression. Babble was a wonderful friend and he very kindly advised Mar-juan to visit the friendly neighborhood rehab doctor who helped him get through depression unhurt. But fate was cruel to take away his friend very soon.

But he soon found love again, this time in his last wife – Nancy Nex-deur. Being a connoisseur of good food, he had spoken in his unstoppable inimitable style about Nancy who had served him the best macaroni. Their life created a milestone in the institution of marriage. I can proudly say that Babble never let Nancy speak more words than him. Though Nancy and Babble may have disagreed on certain occasions, Babble was man of words and could match Nancy utensil throws. I remember him jocularly telling me that Nancy should have been in a baseball team than a restaurant. Wait, I guess he was serious, after all!

Nancy has been a picture of dignity even in the event of Babble’s death. Despite being told that Babble was killed by a TV viewer who was not fortunate enough to understand his intellectual opinions, she has taken the news with a smile, even laughter sometimes. But this only shows how a woman of poise behaves at the loss of a gem of a person.

Babble Talkman. A speaker with his own mind, who called a spade whatever he wished, an ever advising husband and father to many. His loss is replaceable. As he always included a quote in his commentary, here’s one from William Blake – “Every mortal loss is an immortal gain”. I am sure many would agree when I say that in Babble’s case it was a mortal gain as his memories make him look stronger than he could ever be.

May God bless the world, which is suddenly waking to other sounds in his absence.”

Now, all I’ve to do is wait and hold my faith that the judgmental, opinionated, in-my-face nonstop nonsense spouter kicks the bucket and I get to read this piece, in definite peace.