May 14, 2010

Quirky tourists

To the two noble Danish tourists I met at Leopold’s. May their tribe increase.

Travelling to distant lands filled with different sights and sounds (and smells too!) is always tempting. The very thought of getting away is good enough to ‘Like’ the concept and become a ‘Fan’ of it. The added bonus is that of meeting new faces and exercising your lazy, caffeine-coated tongue to pronounce new names – such as Ngyun and Thiruchitrambalam. Seeing the real life conditions can be quite interesting to note and experience – sometimes tedious too, if it is on a boat with little or no access to basic requirements, such as an espresso or a cheeseburger. The after effects of these experiences can always be balanced by a visit to the “World-famous” spa resort or a halt at the meditation ashram, which has just about all amenities – from 200 international TV channels beamed on a plasma screen to a patisserie serving a wide spread for the “guests” after their paid detox meditation session with a “Guru”! I may have run the risk of sounding like a socialist, but these are just pages from a tourist’s diary – one who could very well be me!

What is mostly intriguing as it is interesting is the exchange of views between the host (mostly a tour guide or occasionally an enthusiastic native) and the guest. What may be of most interest to the tourist may not even be remotely on the radar of the host’s comprehending mind. So, when a tourist armed with a Japanese-branded SLR says I want to see the “city”, it may not necessarily be restricted only to the landmark buildings, gateways, towers, palaces, libraries or pyramids and frescoes by legends with a mysterious past. It may very well include a washer man’s lake! Now, to the native it may be just another spot where his family sends out clothes for laundry and his friends complain on the filth that is unbecoming of a “washing” well. But when Lonely Planet lists it under a MUST SEE list, the curiosity of the tourist is not one to be contained or reasoned with. There should be something unique about this place and indifference towards it from the host is generally not treated with humour and candour. A flick of the head here and a nano-second smirk there is all that is needed to indicate that it is obviously a place that would definitely be seen, with or without the host’s approval! For the native, it may be funny and flummoxing at the same time to see the value of washing spot. ‘What’s the big deal about a Dhobi Ghat?’ reverberates in his mind. Once the tourist is done clicking away to the point of contracting a carpal tunnel, satisfaction descends on finally getting the catch. Now the only questions that arise are of how a collage of the images can be made for putting them up on the social networking site, where he occasionally tills and fertilizes often to win green virtual points for the hard-virtual-work!

There are times when every tourist turns into a silly, attention seeking, out-of-control juvenile. When visiting a place that is a sure shot “Scenic splendour”, or “heaven on earth” or “Milton’s Paradise Lost – you go find it” town or hamlet or even a strip of neatly trimmed land, the hype created by all the brochures and glossy catalogues one would have poured over is many times under-delivered. However, the vacationing implausibly positive mind would not want to accept this fact. So, what does one do? Bring out the camera; and start clicking at random angles training the lens on what could be just another goat or a cow or a mongrel that has strayed into the frame. At the end of it all, the pictures folder can end up with a rusted board with the name of the place hardly visible due to peeling paint, the different angles of the sun, your shadow with the knapsack and camera, a local who was inquisitive about the people in unusual clothing but could not communicate it, a far away hillock that looked anything but a brown mound of you-know-ewwww, and a few snooty clouds – in the sky – that should have ideally descended onto you as endorsed in the glossy catalog. There – you’ve found it – with a thought about that paradise which was supposed to be sighted too!

Sehenswuerdigkeiten in Deutsch or just simply sightseeing places are not the only points of contact for tourist quirks. Some of the biggest revelations happen when it’s mealtime. When a tourist from the sub continent travels to a foreign land, it seems like food was the centre of all attractions that was expected. Once on the foreign soil, some of the Indian appetites start to growl rather loudly at the restaurant manager. Some of the requests seem quite implausible to the restaurant service agents who begin to wear a forlorn look till such time the new entrant with multiple shopping bags from supermarkets such as the MM Migros (wonder what they bought!) leaves. The regular requests – for instance, ‘do you serve vegetable toast sandwich- without mayo, without cream, without butter, and very little bread?’ or ‘can you add sugar to the fondue?’ or ‘would you have some masala or chutney to spice up this burrito bowl? It does nothing to my tongue!’ or even better 'Can you serve the French toast with everything but the egg?'. While tossing the most restrained ‘No’, if close attention is paid, one may hear the Spanish or Deutsch waiters exchange a ‘Do you want to take my place – it’s the “tourist” in red sweater? The one who just asked for chilled butter-milk instead of beer!’

Some might say that there isn’t anything wrong with placing your demands on visiting places that can make a native squirm; or asking for flavours that may turn out to be an ice cream vendor’s nightmare. But the fact remains that it all makes for great observation and many times unexpected entertainment!

So, come ye tourists with thy quirks!

Image Credits:
Dhobhi Ghat-
mcillecefamily.org
Migros- travelfeedback.com

No comments: