Bizar‘re-search’!

There are times in your life when you regret something, but still feel helplessly addicted to them. I have felt so more often than once about my undying love for the most aromatic beverage of all – coffee (decaf doesn’t work for me). Being a southie, may be I can conveniently blame it on the environment. Caffeine, a major ingredient in coffee has been certified carcinogenic (causing cancer) by many studies. But for people who belong to my tribe, there was a good old study, which mentioned that it is good for memory. Well, I don’t remember the source, but I sure had read it with great interest. Why coffee, there have been so many studies about every small single thing in a homo sapien’s life. Welcome to the world of species surveys and studies by odd minds!

Of late, researchers or for better understanding pseudo analysts have been publishing bizarre findings about pointless subjects. What needs to be lauded here is the fact that many of these make their way to news portals which people stay hooked on for ‘quality’ stuff! A recent report declared a warning signal in all states of America except the Oregon. Reason? Americans are getting fatter elsewhere. The only possible positive implication of this study may be to guide those agencies that want to headhunt models to head to Oregon because sooner or later those from the other states would turn obese! If the pseuds network well, they may get Oprah to sponsor their study in her Primetime show!

There was this other study that seemed to be reincarnation Darwin’s thesis, lost in evolution! The recently published study said, believe it or not, kids learn eating and exercise habits from parents! Now, this study would be a groundbreaking one, had it been published centuries ago. How an agency like Reuters could publish a century old, tested and proven fundamental law of nature as a fresh, never-seen-before study is a big question mark to me.

Many other question marks keep occurring during the process of skimming through the studies done by such pseudo analysts. A recent one that I read takes the cake and cherry too! It says that Britons are more likely to commit suicide on Monday than any other day of the week. This is something many of us may relate to – those who suffer terrible Monday blues. But the pseudo analysts, apparently, did not find the need to spell out the possible application of the study. They sure have succeeded in keeping the Britons on their toes, on Mondays!

Still, by not including the rest of the countries, we may suggest a study to be conducted on how discriminated one feels about this study. I am quite sure some mean agency would publish our results and get great hits!

Research or no research, life goes on and people do not seem very perturbed by them. Of course, those who find certain studies convenient do not stop quoting them at various occasions. Sooner or later there is bound to be some other that would come up as a counter research and totally rubbish the previous ones. While the research parties clamor for authenticity, the agencies laugh their way to the bank. The knack of making the outlandish fascinating is all it takes to make zilch, ingenious.